Moderated By Heraldo

In which ‘talking points’ is defined as any statement made by someone Heraldo didn’t vote for

Abbot the Rabbit — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 21:01:42 +0000

Newman’s big head

Let’s see how that works in a sentence:

That’s strange coming from someone [in this case Eureka City Councilman Mike Newman] who ignored comments from his own constituents… and stuck to his ill-informed talking points.

By comparison, any comment made by Linda Atkins can be described as “orotund magniloquence” or, alternatively, “even bitchier in person.”

In which the Qaddafy-Julie Williams thing actually turns out to be one of Heraldo’s more insightful analogies

Abbot the Rabbit — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 06:03:24 +0000

Ingomar faces lawsuit, darling

It looks like Eureka City Hall and the Exclusive Ingomar Club–housed in the city’s famous Carson Mansion–have something else in common besides being a haven for Humboldt County’s conservative players.

If Larry Glass shrieked and threw chairs in the Ingomar Club, that would be another commonality.

In which Heraldo fights to end the scourge of participatory democracy

Abbot the Rabbit — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 04:34:19 +0000

DEVELOPERS: Stop the General Plan Update

For the last several years, the NCHB and their ilk have dominated almost every meeting of the Planning Commission or any other body focused on future development in Humboldt County.

And good peace-loving people everywhere demand an end to unsolicited meeting attendance.

In which Heraldo’s intellectual deficit refuses to be overshadowed by his poor grammar

Abbot the Rabbit — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 01:45:52 +0000

Yes, master

Developer overlord Rob Arkley wants the long-overdue GPU stopped until every elected seat is filled with a butt that will do his bidding — much like the City of Eureka.

He had me at butts that do his bidding.

In which Heraldo scrapes the very bottom of the news barrel

Abbot the Rabbit — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 03:51:42 +0000

Tap into your tap

HSU students promote tap water over bottled water.

And bong water over both of those.

In which finally something useful is discussed

Abbot the Rabbit — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 03:44:29 +0000

Keep it up

Need to learn how to pick up the ladies? Make more money? Maintain an erection?

Throw in a bit about the meaning of life and I think all the bases are covered.

In which we realize why Westsiders are so eager to re-open a school

Abbot the Rabbit — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 21:41:48 +0000

Westsiders host movie fundraiser Saturday

The remedial spelling fundraiser will take place the following night.

In which we wish Heraldo had been aborted

Abbot the Rabbit — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 01:06:30 +0000

Planned Parenthood to rally at courthouse Friday

[T]he GOP loves unborn zygotes sooo much that non-wealthy people outside the womb can be cast aside as collateral damage. Health services — like early cancer detection — are only for the financially privileged, apparently.

One can only admire the egalitarianism of stupidity.

In which Heraldo attempts to politicize weather

Abbot the Rabbit — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 01:05:23 +0000

Hard freeze coming to the coast

Based on usual patterns in the blogosphere, the Humboldt Herald predicts Fred’s Blog will call the cold snap proof that global warming is a hoax.

I predict tomorrow there will be stupid early, followed by light afternoon flurries of dumb.

In which Westsiders snatch defeat from the ashes of victory

Abbot the Rabbit — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 03:57:08 +0000

JEFF MARSEE: Outta here

Heraldo quotes an anonymous e-mail that states,

Mr. Marsee needs a reminder. We are the Community and We Do Not Support CR’s Proposed Intensified Use of this Neighborhood Facility!

There’s no denying the promiscuous use of capitalization makes it that much more powerful.